504158EF91EAA8A27A35DB2FC810D5BC

Reaching Deep

Creative RootsToday isn’t really a good day, physically. I’m very tired and ache-y. It was beyond me to get up and get dressed so I spend the day in a housecoat and house shoes, not moving much more than from bed to kitchen to make some tea, over to the computer to drink the tea, and then back to bed.

I was at the computer early this afternoon when I saw a man-shaped shadow go past the window. Then it went by again. I felt very, very annoyed. What is some stranger doing parading back and forth in front of my window inside the locked gates?

Out I go, and I see a young man, probably in his twenties, much taller than me, much stronger than me, chinning himself up the metal gate. He had a very big screwdriver in his hand.

“Allo! Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“…”

“Get down and come over here.”

He did – I was very surprised! I asked him his name, what he was doing, why he climbed over the fence, and what he was doing with the screwdriver.

He answered all my questions. Probably not truthfully, but that’s okay. One of the things he said was that he thought the compound was vacant. I pointed out to him that it’s not. Finally, I told him to say he’s sorry and to promise not to come in here anymore. (I smiled as I said it, as though we were playing a game.) He did. Then I told him he could go. “No, I’m not opening the gate for you, you can leave the way you came in.” I watched him climb out, stood there a little longer in case he felt like getting smart, and went back in to sit down, exhausted. Exhausted, but feeling powerful.

My power is not in my muscles and sinews. It’s not in the strength of my voice. (I didn’t raise my voice at all during the encounter.) It’s not in my vocabulary or my knowledge or skill. My power is simply there. Or here, rather. Not in me, but a part of me, available whenever I access it. I can tap my power just like I tap my emotions or my spirituality.

Maybe that doesn’t sound earthshaking to most people, but to me it’s an important revelation. As my body becomes less and less reliable, it is more and more important to me that my essential being, that thing that is me, remains undiminished. Today I learned more about myself and I like what I discovered.


Image copyright: 123RF Stock Photo

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31 Responses

  1. The power of being… I would not have had the courage to go out and ask him the questions you did, yay you! You are always learning more about yourself, another of your super powers. <3

  2. Barbara says:

    Oh my goodness! You are keeping your angel very busy! Strength in weakness. That’s the promise!

  3. Kathi says:

    I love this story. I love that you rediscovered this part of you, which has no doubt been there for quite some time. It’s life-affirming. You’re still here, powerful friend. xoxo

    • Knot Telling says:

      Thanks, Kathi. You’re right; it is a rediscovery. I have to keep reminding myself not to give cancer more than it’s taken by itself. The nasty old thing doesn’t need my help!

  4. Susanne says:

    Cancer may have taken your physical strength, but it has not touched one bit the core of who you are.

  5. emma says:

    Bloody ‘ell, Knot; that is fabulous! Well done, homie.

  6. Maxine D says:

    What a potentially difficult situation – so glad the power within rose to the occasion. I am not surprised you were exhausted, dear Knots.
    Love your graphic!
    Blessings and prayers and (((((hugs)))))
    Maxine

    • Knot Telling says:

      Thanks, Maxine. The funny part was that I was too annoyed at the incursion into my space to be afraid.
      I like that graphic, too.

  7. Gail Speers says:

    That is a good thing to remember. Thank you for reminding me. Feel better!
    Gail

  8. ((((((((((((((((((((Knots))))))))))))))))))) remember an old Texan luvs heck out of yas !!!!

  9. Bill says:

    Standing your ground–you’ve had plenty of practice facing your health issues–why not apply in this case it just the way you did? With strength, power of mind and grace–bravo!

  10. Tracy says:

    Gosh Knot, there’s something of the showdown from The good, the bad and the ugly here … and you are very,very good.

    • Knot Telling says:

      You know, Tracy, I’ve always enjoyed behaving in ways that surprise people – ever since I was an obnoxious teenager. I’m sure the old lady in the housecoat and slippers that this young man saw did not act as he would have predicted. Mwahaha.

  11. Beth Gainer says:

    Hi Knot, I wouldn’t have the guts to do what you did. That man sounded creepy! Good for you for making him climb back out.

  12. Colleen Logan Hofmeister says:

    Oh, I love this story, thank you so much for sharing! After the past couple of days of ups and downs at my treatment facility, I needed to be reminded I am FAR more than these many spots of cancer and achy bones; no one can take away my spirit and my power! xoxo

  13. Rebecca says:

    Power comes from within ourselves and we often forget. Thank you for reminding us all. It would have taken me a while for me to approach that guy, but I have to admit that after cancer, I have become more aggressive than ever before. Something about standing up for yourself and your rights…feels so good. Good for you!

    I hope you feel better.

    • Knot Telling says:

      It’s true, Rebecca – cancer changes us in all kinds of unexpected ways. Thank you for your kind words.

  14. Mandi says:

    You are one tough lady! I just put up cameras around my house after an odd incident with a stranger showing up at my house. I need to borrows some of your strength of voice. 🙂

    • Knot Telling says:

      Isn’t it awful when someone enters your private space? I admit that this incident has left me a little more jittery than usual.

  15. Catherine says:

    Power is there, something to remember. And by the way – !! – I’m amazed how cool you played that.

  1. 29 March, 2015

    […] Knot’s blog this week, I was full of admiration for her in confronting a trespasser. I know I wouldn’t […]

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