Goodbye 2014

2014 to 2015It’s been a very difficult year for me. All those friends who died, first of all. In addition, the pain (I rebel at calling it “my” pain) increased and my resilience decreased to the point that in March I finally accepted narcotics for pain relief. I am glad I did, even though it was a very difficult decision and at the time felt like a defeat.

On the other hand, my treadmill Dorphina (named for our friends the endorphins) came into my life in August and my life changed for the better. At the beginning my balance issues, muscle weakness and general debility kept me from being able to use her for more than a couple of minutes at a time and that at a snail’s pace. By now, on a good day I can go at quite a brisk walking pace for an hour or more! The benefits have been remarkable, physical and emotional. Dorphina just may have been the high point of my year.

No end of the year post would be complete without a few bloggy statistics, of course. During 2014 Telling Knots was viewed some 38,000 times by people in 98 different countries. The most viewed post was “One Weekend, Four Deaths” that was published on May 19th and has been read by over 1,600 people. The most commented post was “Dead Woman Walking” from February 28th.

Yes, death has been a persistent theme this year, but so has the hope of new beginnings. My biggest hope going into 2015 is that we will see more money going into focused research into the causes and epidemiology of breast cancer and into why 30% of us end up with metastasis but 70% do not. More work on improved treatment and even cures.

I’d like to see more physician receptiveness to informed and intelligent patient involvement and more patients taking an informed and active role in their treatment. I’d like to see free (in terms of both accessibility and payment) access to medical records by patients and their treatment team. For that matter, I’d like to see everyone who provides our care communicating with everyone else: a real team, in other words.

More than anything, I’d like to see an end to breast cancer deaths.

If my tears could water the ground
and nourish the seed that sprouts
and grow the plant that bears fruit
this wouldn’t happen any more.
The ugly growth of metastasis would be no more.
The doctors would no longer say, “We did our best; we’ll keep you comfortable.”
There would be treatment.
There would be prevention.
There would be hope in this world;
not only in the next.

(Image copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo)

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17 Responses

  1. Susanne says:

    *Hugs* I’m so sorry for your losses this year, and I hope that pain is offset somewhat by meeting new hearts. I’m glad to hear you’re improving with the medication and walking machine. (And your shiny new FitBit!)

    <3 May 2015 bring you more joy and blessings.

    • Knot Telling says:

      Getting to know a certain 2014 bride was one of the good things about my 2014. May next year be absolutely wonderful for you!

  2. Judy Boston says:

    Yes, we’ve all struggled this year, made it through and ready to start a new year

  3. Judy Boston says:

    I’m having NO luck with the subscription management page but I DO want to follow you

    • Knot Telling says:

      Judy, the easiest way to subscribe is probably to put your email address into the box at the top of the sidebar on the right and click the subscribe button. You’ll receive an email with a link that you have to click to confirm.

      Happy New Year and may it be a good one for you!

  4. Here’s to a new year with new beginnings. With any luck we will be closer to the one ending we all pray for. The end of Cancer. Happy New Year!!!!


  5. Gerry says:

    Delighted that you have the site up again in time for the New Year.

  6. tracy says:

    dear Knot, it has been a hard year, one that none of us wants to see repeated any time soon. I would like to thank you for continuing to raise awareness of MBC, helping to bring it to the fore rather than letting the media hide it away. It saddens me that 30% can so easily be overlooked and this matters more than many people ever realise. I wish you continued success with Dorphina, less pain, stable health and the opportunity to continue sharing your thoughts, knowledge and wisdom with us all for many years to come. With love and best wishes, Tracy

  7. Maria Ratliff says:

    You inspire me…& I am so proud & honored to call you friend!!

  8. Elizabeth J. says:

    May 2015 bring us all joy and peace and much much closer to a cure.
    Have a happy and blessed New Year!

  9. Jeanette M. says:

    Dear Knot, I have really liked hearing your voice this year, and hope to hear you during 2015 as well. It makes a difference, *you* make a difference. Thank you.

  10. Deborah says:

    Glad to see your blog is up and working again – congratulations! I hope and pray that 2015 will be a better year for you, and everyone.

  11. Agnès says:

    Bonne année, Knottita.

  12. Maxine D says:

    Oh Knot, what a year – but hallelujah for Dorphina!! I was wondering how it was going, and praying all was well for you during your absence.
    I too would love to see a cure for MBC, and the truth in the public arena about the stats!!
    Looking forward to reading what you have to say in the coming year(s).
    {{{{Hugs}}} blessings and prayers

  13. Shari Larsen says:

    I’m sorry for all of you losses, and that you had an increase with the pain issues.
    I’m on narcotic pain meds too; with my stomach issues, I can’t take any anti-inflammatories, so that just leaves narcotics as my only other option.

    I’m glad to see you blogging again!

    Blessings to you for 2015!

    • Knot Telling says:

      Hi Shari. I take prescription NSAIDs, too. They are especially helpful with my joint pains, which are probably “only” arthritis.
      I’m glad to be back!

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